Thursday, November 6, 2008

Carrie and the Search For a Friend - the VERY dramatic conclusion

I'm pretty sure I was getting bored with writing about Carrie and Sandra by this point, or maybe I was just eager to finally finish another one of my stories. Either way, these last two chapters (especially the end) make the rest of the book look like absolute genius. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Chapter Ten

That night, after I took my bath, I ran downstairs.

"What's for dinner, Josephine?" I asked.

"Soup," said Josephine. "One spoonful of tomato soup."

I ate my spoonful of soup. When I was done, Josephine came inside the kitchen and yanked my hair.

"Come see this, you little brat!" She dragged me upstairs to the bathroom by the hair and threw me in the bathtub, which was still full of water. "You didn't let the water OUT!!!"

I tried to get out of the tub, but I couldn't. Josephine pushed my face into the water. She held it there for a long time. When I finally came up, I was coughing badly, and Josephine was laughing.

(Where did I GET this?!!)

I couldn't believe it. Josephine had practically drowned me and all she was doing was laughing!

I changed into some torn pants and a torn shirt and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next day I woke up and ate a chocolate chip cookie. (Josephine said I could.) Then I got dressed. I decided to go to the Soda Shoppe by myself.

(Right after breakfast? Well, I suppose that cookie wouldn't be very filling... I'm surprised Josephine gave her a whole one!)

I ordered a root beer float and one of those mini strawberry cheesecakes. I sipped my float. Then I ate some of the ice cream on top of the float. I decided to stay out all day.

"CARRIE LYNN PACKER!" I heard Josephine's voice call outside.

(In my book, Josephine yells Carrie's name in letters so big they take up six whole pages! I was definitely eager to finish this.)

Uh-oh. I was in hot water now.

I looked around to see where she was. I saw her standing by a store called Lindsay's. I walked over there.

"Come with me!," she hissed. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside Lindsay's to the bathroom. She looked around. No one was there. She threw me against the wall.

"You rotten creep. You know you're not supposed to leave the house without my permission." She slapped me in the face.

(Uh, how did Josephine magically know Carrie was at the Soda Shoppe?)

Josephine and I walked home. Then she started yelling.

"I hate you, you good-for-nothing idiot! You're a creep!" She hit me on the hand so hard I started to bleed.

That did it.

"Do you think I like living with you? I hate child abuse! I've always hated child abuse! And now I'm a victim of child abuse!"

(You tell her, Carrie! On second thought...)

That did it for Josephine. She grabbed the whip. Uh-oh.

She kept on muttering things about making the whip hurt more. Oh, no.

"YOU!" She slashed me with the whip on my back. "ARE NOT GOING TO TALK LIKE THAT..." She slashed me again. "EVER AGAIN!" She slashed me one more time. By that time, I was on the ground in tears.

"I hate you, Josephine! I hate you!"

I ran and ran to Sandra's house. (Where else?) Mrs. Marcus wasn't there.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Sandra, it's my aunt!"

"What did she do this time?"

"Well ... she whipped me three times with a real whip! You know, one of those circus whips?"

Sandra's eyes were very round. "Golly, I never thought she'd do something like that. I thought you were just lying."

(snicker)

"I wasn't lying. Sandra, I hate that woman and I'm never going home again!"

Sandra just raised her eyebrows. "Carrie, do you want to go over to Harvey's house with me? I saw him yesterday. I know where he lives."

I shrugged. "Okay."

(Well, Carrie obviously isn't THAT traumatized by Josephine's whip.)

We walked about a block away to a yellow house. Sandra rang the bell.

Harvey answered. "Sandra! Hi, Carrie. Why don't you two come in?"

(That's how all 11-year-old boys talk.)

As soon as we were inside, Harvey and Sandra began to chat. I watched some soap opera. Finally, I heard the words, "Sandra, will you go out with me?" Sandra said yes, and soon we were on our way back to Sandra's house.

"Hey, Carrie. If Mom's home, why don't we ask her if we could go over to that lake at the bottom of Woodland. We could pack a picnic lunch and it will be real fun."

"Yeah," I said, grinning.

Mrs. Marcus said yes. She packed her own lunch and gave Sandra and I the same lunch: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread, one of those mini cartons of macaroni salad, a slice of cake, a chocolate chip cookie, and a thermos full of fruit punch.

(Healthy. I've lost count of how many chocolate chip cookies have appeared in this story.)

Soon we were at the park. We picked a table and sat down. "Let's eat first so it'll be out of the way," said Mrs. Marcus.

We ate peacefully. It was a pleasant summer day. There were a few clouds, and a nice, cool breeze, but the sun was shining.

Just as I was finishing the last of my macaroni salad, Sandra said, "Hey, Carrie, let's go over by the lake!"

"Okay," I said. We sat on the grass right by the lake. We were silent for awhile.

"Mmm," Sandra said a couple of minutes later. "Harvey is so cute!"

"Hmm," I said.

Sandra looked horrified. Then she grinned, and the next thing I knew, she pushed me in the lake!

My foot went down till it hit the bottom. I kept on going up and down in the water until I was in the middle. (huh?) Then Sandra waded to the middle and dunked my head.

"Ha, ha! Ha, ha! You're so stupid! I never liked you, Carrie Packer!," Sandra said gleefully. People everywhere were laughing and pointing.

I sat in the middle of the lake, shivering. Then I ran all the way home.

(That must be one shallow lake for Carrie to be able to sit in the middle of it. Poor, poor Carrie. Was Mrs. Marcus laughing and pointing, too?)


Chapter Eleven

"CARRIE LYNN PACKER!" Josephine yelled when I walked in the door.

"I'm sorry," I said in a tiny voice.

"SORRY! YOU JUST RAN OUT ON ME LIKE SOME KIND OF WHO KNOWS WHAT, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS SORRY?" Josephine screeched. "Get out of my house! Now! NOW!!! NEOW!"

I ran out of the house, sobbing. It was no use anymore. I had no home to go to, no friends to turn to for help. I might as well just give up. Mom was killed instantly, but Dad just kind of ... gave up. Why shouldn't I?

I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I walked out into the middle of the street. A black sports car was coming toward me. I heard the screech of tires, and someone holler, "STOP!!!"

Then I was in the street, unconscious. There was a big cut in the middle of my forehead.

(Oh no! What kind of crazy people drive on that street? First Tabatha, now Carrie... )

The driver got out of the car, and people started coming out of their houses, including Josephine.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" (The driver?) "Is she dead?" "Make sure she's breathing!" "Call the police, dummies!" "Don't call people dummies, Christine."

Soon police cars and an ambulance were here. I was lifted in an ambulance by a stretcher and driven to the hospital. Only I wasn't awake to enjoy it.

At the hospital they did several things. (Like maybe questioned Josephine about why Carrie had finger marks on her arm and whip marks across her back?) They found out I had a bad concussion and was in a coma. I might not wake up from the coma, either ... ever.

I wasn't put in ICU, but I was in a thing kind of like ICU. (whatever that means...) I couldn't have any visitors that whole day, except Josephine.

Two hours later, they thought I wasn't going to make it. But one hour later, I guess I made some movement, because I could kind of hear the people talking.

About half an hour later, I opened my eyes and found Josephine's face peering into mine.

(Creepy!)

"Oh, Carrie!," she said. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! PLEASE!"

"Okay, okay."

"THANK YOU!"

***
Three days later, Cyndi dropped by. "Oh, Carrie!," she said. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm sorry, Cyndi! I was so jerky for thinking Sandra was my friend. Sandra is about the worst friend anybody could get! I should just give up."

"Carrie, no! Nothing works when you give up. Believe me. Don't give up. Believe in yourself. Just believe in yourself."

(Oh, jeez...I apologize for this.)

"CARRIE!"

"Oh, that's Josephine. She's become so weird!"

"CARRIE! YOU GET TO GO HOME!"

Yea!

I knew I wasn't going to give up. Cyndi had told me that. Sandy would never have told me that.

I couldn't wait until I got home from the hospital. Everything would be back to normal.

The End

***

Okay, that was truly the worst ending EVER! Carrie can't wait until everything is "back to normal"? She wants to be starved and whipped and forced to wear bell bottoms and live in a Sesame Street room?

Actually, after Carrie and the Search For a Friend, Josephine turns into a "lovably wacky" aunt whose abusive history is virtually forgotten! BSC and Sweet Valley didn't care about continuity; why should I?

I'll leave you with the teaser that I wrote specially for the back of the book:

Carrie Packer wants a new friend. Her old friends are the ones who practically caused her parents' death!

Then Carrie meets Sandra. Sandy seems perfect. Carrie and Sandra hang out all the time.

But Carrie's real friends know the truth about Sandra. She's just using Carrie and might hurt her. But Carrie doesn't seem to notice because of her aunt Josephine.

Will Carrie's friends stop Sandra .. or will it be too late?


Coming up ... more fun with Lisa and the Angels! The next one will be a little less drama-filled. I hope that's alright.

3 comments:

ImSoNotHeather said...

Oh, man ... I love it. :)

Deathycat said...

That was great. Josephine needs to be institutionalized, and possibly Carrie, too.

potatoesahoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.